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Post-Solipsistical Smoochy-Pie

Post-Solipsistical Smoochy-Pie

Post-solipsistical Smoochy-pie 
Wood, Metal, Bone, Leather
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    Post-solipsistical Smoochy-Pie

    – This authentic replication of a primitive torture device was originally put to use by the Incan people of sixteenth century Peru as a means of greater efficiency in sacrificing the virginity of long lines of young village maidens “than that which nature bestoweth”*.

    – It was imported to Europe via the Spanish conquistadors as a method of gently persuading heretics, witches, artists and jews to the “truth of their sinful ways”*.

    – In 1777, Thomas Jefferson purchased the device to display in his recently opened “Torture Device Museum”* where it is rumored to have been used “not at all infrequently”*.

    – Aleister Crowley was known to have it transported back to South America where he enjoyed it as a method of enema.

    – It has been most frequently referred to as the Post-Solipsistical Smoochy-Pie*, but has also borne the names: the Confession Pump*, the Devil’s Phallus (of malice)*, Slutfucker* and El Interrogador*.

    – This device has been made illegal in Canada but is a requirement of every Catholic Church in New Zealand.

    – It hurts; but it hurts so good.

    *(All quotes come from Barkin Fuchzenhammer’s insightful book The Torture Device as Fine Art; specifically the chapter entitled Sculptures You can Fuck.)
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